So I have been absent, not that it truly matters. But the world constantly crumbles and I think... I'll wait till my head is more together. But really, it wont ever be. I am trying to forget the tumultuous year of financial hardship, adult bullying, academically inspired feelings of inadequacy and of course the slow recovery of the sense of self in the light of many losses of deeply beloved people, places and, indeed, ideas.
But now, I can put those things mostly aside and prepare for new traumas. The summer had few speed bumps. In fact, it may have been the best, calm summer in a long time. I got a great internship that was paid. I got to live in the Avenues in Salt Lake City, which was surprisingly beautiful, diverse and entertaining. My work environment was fantastic, my colleagues were respectful and nice, and I got to fulfill my dreams while getting good pay. My visits home were divine.
Upon returning to Logan I found that my course load was high but manageable, my advisor was enthusiastic about my thesis and downright friendly, not only this, my cohort seems happy, friendly and social.
All the dust seems to be settling. While I will always be waiting for the other shoe to drop (I suspect it will drop tomorrow when my car goes to the dealer to get checked since it wont go uphill has bad tires and the engine light is on) I am happy that tonight I am taking a deep breath and savoring the absence of the total chaos that has been my life for the last couple of years.
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